just popping by to share a beautiful article

For partners of people struggling with pornography addiction. A place for Significant Others to support one another, vent their frustrations, and share their hopes. Recovering Addicts are strongly urged not to post on this forum.

just popping by to share a beautiful article

Postby Reena on Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:23 pm

This is what happened when you broke my heart:

Memories, I have few.

I like it that way, for it is better not to think or to feel, and I most definitely don’t imagine.

I do not think it was planned and please, I pray, it was never intended.

I like to believe that it was just circumstance and bad timing and a mixed up, twisted round, wrongly fused connection.

Which burned out.

I knew it wouldn’t last, deep within, I remember the doubts that were there all along.

But, I ignored them and buried them and hoped, I so badly hoped that our wires would tangle and knot and become one that could withstand the heat.

Though, it was never to be.

You loved me, I am sure of that, but you couldn’t stay to see the damage—you thought only of you.

You never witnessed the tears so damned hot they scalded and left scars down my cheeks.

I remember the noise, the deafening sound your absence left behind.

The chaos and the clutter and the betrayal, the cuts and the scrapes and the sweet, so very sweet taste of days gone past.

You rejected me and so I rejected myself.

You became an obsession that filled voids.

Spaces created from your absence, pieces of us broken, chewed up, shattered and discarded for all to view.
I frantically grasped at shards, bleeding and in pain, but I held on. I knew that when I let you go I would sink into myself.

And I remained this way. Submerged.

Until I couldn’t breathe and so, I opened.

I cracked wide open and the pain of the light scorch my bruised and aching soul.

I stitched myself together, but the loose thread faltered.

I erupted and I exploded and the erosion left me weakened and raw.

So, I lay in the sun and I allowed.

The wind came and the storms passed and I weathered all that they gave.

I remained open and I lay empty.

And it was then that I opened my eyes.

I found, you had ruined us but you hadn’t ruined me.

I discovered I was glistening and glittering and glowing.

My insides, though burnt and fractured from the impact of you crushing and the intensity of the pressure, had crystalized.

You took away your love.

But what you will never find out is:

You left behind a diamond.

Author: Alex Sandra Myles
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Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:15 pm
Location: California

Re: just popping by to share a beautiful article

Postby healedbylove on Thu Jun 25, 2015 1:27 pm

I have not visited the board in a long time, but I'm just working on a piece about the healing journey that this experience has brought to me. I'm writing essay/prose and this particular piece that you shared is just brilliant. Thank you for sharing it. It is just lovely. This experience either "kills" us or brings forth the very best in us, depending on what we choose ( and I believe even in death for those who don't make it, there lies brilliant light and love in the end). Blessings to all on this board. I like to visit and "touchdown" once in awhile. I can't stay for long as I can't revisit the dark days, but I enjoy sharing the light and messages of hope and wellness.
Your humble servant.
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Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:00 am

Re: just popping by to share a beautiful article

Postby Vesper on Fri Jun 26, 2015 6:26 am

This is lovely Reena and thank you for sharing it. Good to see you drop by HBL. I am glad you are living in love and light!
Smiles are infectious so go and spread them...
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Your humble servant.
Posts: 11929
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:47 pm

Re: just popping by to share a beautiful article

Postby Whoami on Thu Jul 09, 2015 12:49 am

Wishing all SOs, partners, wives would come back here so we could share. And work things out together. We all need the beauty from each other. I'm sad to see this partner's board has so few contributors. This addiction involves all of us, not just the addicts.

I'll be looking in LOTS more. I got lost in recovery journals...I regret not being on the partner's board more

I so love this beautiful article
Your humble servant.
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Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:29 pm

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