i'm back

For partners of people struggling with pornography addiction. A place for Significant Others to support one another, vent their frustrations, and share their hopes. Recovering Addicts are strongly urged not to post on this forum.

i'm back

Postby jmarii on Sat Sep 12, 2015 1:49 pm

yep. over 10 years ago i was here and came back from time to time. marriage ruined by husband's p addiction and lies and temper and deceit…yet i didn't divorce. each discovery had it's own episode. first came the denials, indignation, rage. then it was the "i need help". then it was "i fixed it" and for the last few years since i haven't kept tabs on anything he just dismisses my inquiries. today i decided to check his office computer, view files. it's really easy. i didn't need hacking software like before and i didn't need to print anything to prove to him. just enough in the last couple of days was enough for me.

living with a porn addict isn't a life. they don't see women as equals and they find it very easy to lie. they aren't 100% at their jobs (as in my husbands case he owns his business and spent countless hours with porn)

so i confronted again for the millionth time and he's upstairs being a drama queen packing maybe and saying things like his life has gone to [expletive] anyway….

i don't care. have lived this way for too long.
jmarii
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Re: i'm back

Postby Whoami on Mon Sep 14, 2015 8:16 pm

Ouch, real sorry to hear you are still saddled with this. Yes, you really have lived this way for too long. You, and all of us here know the whole drill, the lies, the drama queen stuff (from HIM) :roll: Seems like you needed to take a break from the whole problem, and not check, and I think we can all relate to that too!

Recovery seems real hard to come by in this addiction. Even tho I seem to be the lucky Lone Ranger here, I know the addict must be absolutely committed to kicking it. If I recall, your H thought your reaction was an over reaction, that is never good!!

There is a friend here who went thru what you have last week. You'll find her on recovery journals, meanwhile I'll give her a shout out about you. I know both of you ( friend here and you) are facing decisions, which really take tons of energy. Know I'm thinking of you, and know how this must SUCK :evil:

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Re: i'm back

Postby tootrue on Wed Sep 16, 2015 11:21 pm

So sorry to hear this jmari. I just decided to check in here after not for so long and was sorry to see your post. Porn is so much more prevalent now it seems like a really hard battle for people. Hopefully there are still women here who are more up on this in today's world than I am who will be supportive. I am thinking about you and wish you the best.
Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength.~Frances de Sales
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tootrue
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Re: i'm back

Postby Susan on Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:56 pm

I used to belong a long time ago, too, and I remember you. I'm sorry you're going through this again. I think my husband stopped, but I don't even check any more. I wouldn't know where to begin, with all the new gadgetry. I'll try thinking good thoughts for you!
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Re: i'm back

Postby jmarii on Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:54 pm

TooTrue, Whoami and Susan, Gosh, I remember each of you. Thank you for your support and reply. I think we are each from the Benderson days….what a gift she was and what a gift this place was when all was hitting the fan. Time has sure flown.
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